Been a long time...

But hell, it's not really fair to be blogging on the clock at The Spokesman, either. At any rate, let's talk some about the diamond, where the Mariners are really pulling a, well, Seattle-like season by raining on just about everyone's lofty pre-season predictions this year. While the Texas Rangers are roping the rest of their AL West competition and keeping them in tow in the division race, the anemic Seattle offense is preventing a solid pitching staff from notching a few more wins than currently show up in the standings.

I mean, five starters on offense are batting a lowly .200 at the dish. Their batting average is tied for second worst in the majors, and the Mariners are tethered to the bottom of the barrell in almost every other category offensively (not to mention the pathetic amount of times I've seen baserunners been picked off or gunned down).

At any rate, here's my homemade recipe for turning the Mariners into winners again:

1. Have Milton Bradley do clean-up duty at local elementary schools of his own tears and keep inspiring kids to grow up to not be like him.

2. Re-sign Eric Byrnes to open up bicycle repair shop behind wall in center field.

3. Erect commemorative Mariners lighthouse between second and third base, cutting down on range Chone Figgins and Josh Wilson have to cover in infield.

4. Supply Cliff Lee's agent with free popcorn and hot dogs so he'll pipe down for once about the hurler's future.

5. Make sure first base is wheelchair accessible and buy Ken Griffey Jr. shake weights so he can pull himself together by the time the All-Star break hits.

Quick-hitting Sweet 16 picks

Been a while on here, but it's been busy at work, where I typically post form. Below are a list of today's Sweet 16 picks:

• Washington-West Virginia: Da'Sean Butler was the X-Factor for the Mountaineers throughout the Big East Tournament en route to the title, and he should prove to be such again in the absence of Daryl Bryant, who will be gone for the remainder of the tournament with his broken foot. Joe Mazzula, who leaves much to be desired shooting on the offensive end, should be able to hold the Dawgs' Isaiah Thomas in check, though Quincy Pondexter could carry his squad into the Elite 8 with another stellar tournament performance. WVU 81-73
• Cornell-Kentucky: John Wall should be showcasing his signature dance after this contest as well. Though I expect the game to be close throughout, especially with Cornell's ability to drain the outside shot (Six players have made more than 20 3-pointer this season). But John Wall, DeMarcus Cousins, Patrick Patterson and Eric Bledsoe should have their way with the Big Red's defense. UK 85-78
• Butler-Syracuse: I'm not a big Andy Rautins fan, but I think he and other Orange guards need to step up in the absence of Arinze Onuaku. Without the big veteran in the middle, the Bulldogs could sag their defense down low, forcing Scoop Jardine, Brandon Triche and Rautins to make jumpers and bring Butler's D out to the perimeter. If that happens, Syracuse should earn another comfortable win. Syr 69-60
• Xavier-Kansas State: While I hate to disappoint those "parity purists" who think this year is especially ripe for upsets, the higher seed picks continue. Despite how impressed I am with former Kentucky Wildcat Joe Crawford's little brother Jordan, who is averaging better than 27 points per contest thus far in the tourney, I don't see any way he can escape the lockdown defense of KSU's Jacob Pullen. The senior guard took BYU's Jimmer Fredette out of last weekend's second round contest, and I expect him to do the same against the Musketeers. Offensively, the Wildcats have a lot of depth, with ten players averaging over 10 minutes per game on the year. I don't see how a less-deep Xavier can keep up with the fresh legs off the bench for KSU over a 40 minute period. KSU 75-61

Word to the wise: Be wary of Vancouver Olympic tickets

Recently, a friend was looking online to scoop up some tickets to an alpine skiing event for the February Olympic games in Vancouver.

But where do you start looking? The internet sounded most logical for starting the search. A quick Google search yielded an advertised link on the search page that stated they had tickets galore. Right on.

A bushel full of clicks later, and he was on the final page of buying his way onto the slopes of Whistler. But upon further examination, there were some quirky words on the confirmation page. What is "test shipping"? Doesn't sound reliable. Hmm...

Or what about using "Courier 39" to ensure the tickets make it to your mailbag. Not a clue who he is, but he must be good if he goes by that Bond-like moniker.

After a friend had dropped $419 on tickets to the supercombine event, it gives me pause to think about how easy and frequent sports ticket scamming goes on. I mean, right now, there has to be fraudulent tickets for the Olympics, the Super Bowl, the World Cup and the NBA All-Star game.

I'm not sleuth, but just watch where you get this from. Don't take every "Sullivan Boutique" seriously if they say they've got just what you're looking for.

Hoops, hardwood and...executive orders?

Though the action on the court once again centered around two top-ranked teams in the nation, the focal point from a fan's perspective may shift to who's butt was once again in a court side seat.

President Obama, accompanied by Vice President Joe Biden, were on hand to see the Hoyas throttle the Blue Devils this afternoon. While the President has a difficult job and I thoroughly believe the balance between work and leisure is integral to having an enjoyable life and a successful career, Mr. President seems to certainly be taking in a lot of sporting events since his tenure in office began.

Aside from today's Duke-Georgetown game, President Obama has watched George Washington University take on Oregon State, . Originally, President Obama was also scheduled to make it to the Vancouver Winter Olympics opening ceremony. And the Obama administration is also teaming with senators to determine the legality of the Bowl Championship Series. Oh yeah, I almost forgot about Mr. Obama trying to get the International Olympic Committee to let the United States get in on the hosting party.

Look, I'll be the first to admit I love the President's enthusiasm for an important aspect of American culture. I mean, hey, I was at the Inauguration. Sports is big (bucks) to a lot of Americans, and Mr. President is astute enough to espouse that.

But with blanket health insurance legislation, the mending of a battered economy and a relief effort in Haiti all in full swing, I think sports should be on the back burner right meow. While it may be a way to boost his swooning public opinion numbers, the real approval of the populous lies in the bigger current domestic political agenda.

Everpresent conflict between club and international duties

I was reading today how Michael Essien will be out of action for Chelsea for 4-6 weeks after sustaining an injury training with Ghana at the African Nations Cup. Often, clubs are hesitant to let their players go to international competitions because of the fear of injury. Without a top player lining up for the game, it could have an adverse affect on a team's chances to win.

But is it really so wrong for a player to want to play for his country? It would be cool to slip on a jersey with "USA" affixed to the front, and millions in bars and homes watching you play on TV.

Plus, it's a rare thing to play for your homeland. With only 32 countries in the World Cup this summer and roughly 20 players per team, it's a select crowd. I feel badly for soccer players who are put in the uneviable position of having to choose between their competing duties to clubs and national teams.

Soccer is unlike the NBA and MLB in the respect that there are very few times (none whatsoever in the NFL) where the national team comes calling for practices and games for global competition.

The Olympics and world championships for basketball are few and far between, and because much of the NBA is comprised of American players still (77 players in the 2008-2009 season were from abroad), only a small number of teams are affected. And like the NHL when the Olympics and Ice Hockey World Championships and the MLB when the World Baseball Classic happens, often a break in the season ensues or the competition takes place outside the season.

Obviously the competitions are present to showcase a country's best talent on a national stage. Players enjoy representing their country and exhibiting a sense of pride in where they're from.

Lots of kids grow up wanting to play for the popular teams: Yankees, Red Sox, Lakers, Celtics, Red Wings, Penguins and so on. But everyone always dreams of playing for their country in a sport. Can we really fault them for that?

Other should get same treatment as Kiffin in Knoxville

Naming a wastewater treatment facility after a coach branded by fans for his treachery after abandoning ship for the next big gig: Is there something ironically refreshing about that or what?

After a Tennessee attorney has filed paperwork to name a sewage center in rememberance of Kiffin, there are a few other places that should certainly look into giving a run out for names to immortalize coaches who left under similar circumstances:

The Billy Donovan Flip Flop Emporium

Petrino's Hog Heaven BBQ Pit

The 1st Annual Calipari Swap Meet

Ohno's Ice Dancing Rink

The Brett Favre (Un)Retirement Center

Tiger's Hole in One Cadillac Dealership and Cocktail Lounge

Abdominal Bowflex - Rex Ryan Edition

Regeneration: A Place of Healing, with John Daly

Tourret Anonymous: Ozzie Guillen, Chicago Chapter President

Mike Gundy's 40-and-Over Gym

The Plaxico Burress "Legs Only" Shooting Range

Colorado All-Star Women's Kicking Camp with Rick Neuheisel

Carroll to 'Hawks right move?

Time to get back on the posting trail after the holiday hiatus.

I'll start off by talking about the big Washington news of the day -- Pete Carroll to Seattle.

Let's lead off with the positives. The guy can coach, as evidenced by his stellar record at USC (96-19 in nine seasons), and his plus-.500 record as the head man in the NFL (33-31 in four seasons).


However, let's look at what we know about Carroll:

A player's coach. Carroll, while maintaining his stranglehold over his players as the enthusiastic coach, is also seen as one of the guys. His exuberant delivery . Carroll also appears to be a pretty benevolent guy -- helping with youth football, inviting handicapped children to practice (read: ESPN's 'Outside the Lines' story) and even adding an extra special teams coach to his staff. In all seriousness, players gravitate towards this guy because of his charisma -- something certain to lure impressionable high school stud athletes to campus as a college recruiter.

But pro ball is a different story -- players get drafted, free agents ink contracts with greenbacks and playing time (not coaching philosophy) on their minds, and the well-oiled machine of the NFL grinds on. If it were about being a player's coach, Jim Mora would still be toting a Seattle clipboard. Because he couldn't deliver consistent, week-to-week results, he was jettisoned out of town.

How will personnel issues be decided? Since Carroll was able to plug-and-play with the athletes that rolled in at USC, he will be in a different scenario in the NFL, especially in terms of handing roster moves. It has yet to emerge whether or not Carroll will handle contractual negotiations, have final say on draft choices and be given authority to go after desired free agents. If so, this role will be vastly different than his ability to woo tweens to committ to the sunny So-Cal life. Instead, Carroll will have to flash Paul Allen's money and hope players buy into his 4-3 defense and seemingly big play offensive mindset -- be it Jeremy Bates or Norm Chow that runs the offensive show in Seattle. It has been reported Will Lewis could take on the General Manager role in Seattle should Carroll only have coaching responsibilities.

Reaffirming "America's Team"

Okay, so I will admit it: I nearly teared up watching the America's Game documentary of the 1992 Dallas Cowboys.

And it appears, to my childish delight, that I am not the only one who holds in their hearts the silver and blue clad team from the heart of Texas.

According to a Harris Interactive poll released in October, the Cowboys were viewed as America's favorite football team amongst those who consider themselves football fans. The Cowboys have been chosen as America's favorite team six times since 1998, and have appeared in the top five every year since 1998.

Say what you will about the likes of Jerry Jones, Wade Phillips, Tony Romo, and the rest of the lot, but the team has been consistently voted the national jewel of the NFL.

Instead of Iverson, sign Swift

No, no, not Stromile. The sexy blonde one.

In an interview aired on NBC last night, Taylor Swift sheepishly told NBC anchor Matt Lauer that she knew it took one whole minute for her to sell out a concert at Madison Square Garden in New York.

Baffling. Only a blink of an eye was needed for 18,200 seats to be sold to see "You Belong to Me" and "White Horse."

For a team stuck in neutral at 3-13, the Knicks could sure use something to pull their heads out. How about that 12th (wo)man on the end of the bench wearing nothing underneath the snap-on warmups? Think distraction, like Connie in Mighty Ducks.

Dixon to start at QB for Steelers on Sunday

Former University of Oregon quarterback Dennis Dixon will get the starting nod against the Baltimore Ravens Sunday for the Pittsburgh Steelers, replacing injured veterans Ben Rothlisberger (concussion) and Charlie Batch (wrist).

Dixon, a second-year Oakland native, has one career pass to his name. Dixon threw for 2,136 yards and ran for 583 while adding a total of 29 touchdowns in his injury-shortened senior season at Oregon.

Top Cheating Moments in Soccer History

Following the media feeding frenzy (here and here) surrounding Theirry Henry's apparent handball during France's World Cup qualifying win over Ireland Wednesday, it's time to take a look back in history to some memorable cheating, or at least embellishment, moments in soccer's storied history.

3. Christiano Ronaldo's dive against England...and others - Nonwithstanding his status as one of the most prolific and dangerous players with the ball at his feet or in front of goal, Ronaldo does have a propensity for going down quite easily near any hint of contact. Ronaldo, who can employ the dive in many ways to earn a set piece or a penalty, has used the technique frequently in club and national team matches. While I won't cite a specific example to indict Ronaldo here, the guy does his fair share of cheating.

2. Maradona's "Hand of God" - The gold standard of handballs, Maradona's highly controversial handball helped Argentina to a 2-1 win over England in the quarterfinals of the 1986 FIFA World Cup. Argentina would later go on to win the final. After his seething rant following Argentina sealing their bid to the World Cup finals in South Africa next summer, Maradona has surely immortalized himself as anything but a stand-up guy. His previous cocaine usage won't canonize him with soccer supporters, either.

1. Henry's handball - While Maradona's handball may have come at the highest level of competition for soccer, Henry's handball was in the qualification for that very same World Cup competition. However, the kicker here is that Henry handled the ball not once, but twice. Plus, the incident happened in extra time, with the match almost certainly going to penalties, barring a late (kegal) goal by either side. Additionally, play was stopped for 97 seconds to determine whether or not the ball had been handled. After a pow-wow between match officials, Henry's goal was given the go-ahead. In a match clearly dominated by the Irish, France escaped with the aggregate goal victory and the berth to the World Cup.

A friend's take on the Tennessee football team's ongoings

The beauty of the Web 2.0 world is the advent of user generated content. A prime example of that? Well, this blog right here, of course -- a fine example of why the blogging folks like myself matter in getting the word out.

Okay, enough idealistic diplomacy. Instead, I'll hit you with a dose of more user generated content: an opinion piece authored by a high school friend and a student at the University of Tennessee. Though the student newspaper at Tennessee turned his letter to the editor down, who am I to blockade the dissemination of valuable opinions?

After overhearing people discussing it seemingly all day, I really think everyone is being a little too harsh on our freshman football felons. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning their actions, and I’m sure we all shared the same reaction when we saw the news headline that three of our players were arrested, thinking to ourselves “These guys are dummies. Oh my God, please don’t let it be Eric Berry.... wait, what the hell is a 'mike edwards'.” However, the outcry of criticism that has followed is confusing to me. First of all, contrary to what I keep hearing, I think this reflects terrifically upon the integrity of our University, proving that our boosters clearly aren’t providing our players with any illegal gifts or cash to play here. Secondly, stop with the double-standard when judging athletes; I mean, let’s be honest, who hasn’t at least thought about committing an armed robbery once or twice in their life? Granted, these players didn’t quite Oceans 11 their failed heist, as the Strip doesn’t exactly qualify as “incognito.” In fact, if they had taken their pellet gun a few blocks into the Fort, it would have been an email from UT police breaking the news, rather than a suave Sportscenter host. Anyway, my point is that I think we should ease up on Nu’Keese and Janzen, and stop pretending like anybody actually cares whether our football players have “moral integrity” just so long as they pay enough visits to the endzone. Perhaps I’m simply numb to it, since I’ve been getting robbed repeatedly by the UT athletic department every time I want a football ticket.

-Brennan Scotland

Top 3 players who won't contribute to Zags' scoreline this season

There's been lots of chatter on the sports front as to who will fill the scoring holes around Matt Bouldin this season: Will Demetri Goodson turn into a threat from the perimeter to go along with his Flash-like quickness slashing to the cup? Can Robert Sacre stay healthy and provide the big body inside Gonzaga needs to keep opponents out of the lane and off the boards?

I don't know any better than you do. Instead, I'll tell you what I do know: who won't be contributing to the stat sheet with Austin Daye, Jeremy Pargo, Ira Brown and Josh Heytvelt departed.

1. David Stockton: Okay, he has the pedigree for being a star at GU -- but so what? With dad John and grandfather Houston in the cushy seats at McCarthey Athletic Center, you can bet they'll want to see the little guy get some time on the floor. Problem is, he doesn't have the attributes to help the team out. Clearly undersized for the Division I and even Western Athletic Conference game at 5-10 and a gaunt 150, his physical attributes won't allow him to bang around on the floor with larger, more athletic opponents (Read: Call up Karl Malone at Lousiana Tech and hit the weights). Additionally, he's buried in the pecking order behind G.J. Vilarino and Grant Gibbs, so he won't see the hardwood much this year.

2. Chris Pontarolo-Maag: After playing second fiddle to last year's most notable walk-on suiting up for the Zags, Andrew Sorenson (19 games played, 3.9 minutes per game), Pontarolo-Maag steps into the high-profile role of the Zags best practice player/cheerleader/garbage time hotshot. In seven games of action last year, he went 1-4 from the field and missed his only three-pointer he attempted. This is good news for Pontarolo-Maag, who should be on pace to shatter those standards from last year and move a few rungs up the Zags all-time scoring list this year when he gets some time off the pine.

3. Mike Hart: Another of the walk-on breed in the vein of Pontarolo-Maag and Sorenson. Although he has the size (6-5) of a D-I prospect, I assume the skill set isn't as filled out as Coach Few would like to see, which explains his 3 minutes of time he logged in the exhibition game against Alberta. Hart does have a record of success from Jesuit High School in Portland, where his team made the state tournament annually and he played against the likes of Kyle Singler and Kevin Love during his prep basketball career.

Whitworth soccer could nail down trifecta of titles tomorrow

On the precipiece of a historic day tomorrow, the Whitworth men's soccer team could venture into uncharted territory tomorrow. A win over visiting in-state rivals Whitman College would give the Pirates a third consecutive Northwest Conference title, a feat that has not come to pass in almost 20 years. Whitworth was the last team to complete the three-peat, winning three straight from 1988-90.

But Whitworth sports have seen a revival over the past 10 years, as teams across the board have pushed the school into the upper echelon of athletic achievement in the region. The Whitworth football team is 66-29 over the past nine-plus seasons. The women's cross country team ran to their first Northwest Conference title in school history this season, following up on a second-place team finish in 2008 and the first ever NCAA Championships qualification in 2002. The men's cross country team won their first NWC title in 2008 and earned their first berth to the NCAA Championships.

The men's golf team won three straight NWC titles from 2004-2007. The men's basketball team will look to build upon three straight conference titles when the season tips off this fall. The women's soccer team is enjoying their second winningest season in school history at 16-3 this year. And the men's team has won over 73 percent of their games in their last ten-plus seasons.

It's been a banner decade for Whitworth sports. And on the cusp of adding another trophy to the athletics case, fans should be content to sit back and enjoy the golden age of Division III athletics in Spokane.

Crazy legs

Growing up, I watched a lot of football with my family. My Grandpa Don, a down-home Cajun from New Orleans, always has something to say about the game. Whether he's shouting "Run, boy, run!" at the tube or saying "You stupid son of a..."

One of the most notable of his sayings, however, is "That boy runs like 'Crazy Legs' Hirsch out there." This post is a tribute to the good times I've had watching football with him.

Elroy "Crazy Legs" Hirsch, starred for the Los Angeles Rams and the Chicago Rockets of the All-America Football Conference. An oustanding player, Hirsch posted career numbers of 387 catches, 7,029 yards and 60 touchdowns. Hirsch also won an NFL championship and was named Pro Player of the Year with the Rams in 1951 after posting a 66-reception, 1,495-yard, 17 touchdown season. Hirsch was enshrined in the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1968.

Hirsch split his time playing college ball between the University of Wisconsin and later the University of Michigan, where he was assigned to during his stint in the Marine Corps. He was a letterman in four sports at Michigan: football, baseball, track and basketball. Hirsch died in January 2004 at the age of 80.

Hirsch can be seen making brief appearances in videos here and here.

Reasons why the Cowboys won yesterday

Though this blog masquerades as a Pacific Northwest news source, I do still have a soft spot for my favorite team. And in light of such a crucial win yesterday -- coupled with a 24-17 New York Giants loss to the Arizona Cardinals which dropped the Giants into a tie with the Cowboys atop the NFC East standings -- I thought I would explore three aspects of the game which contributed to a Cowboys 'W':

Tony Romo stayed off the turnover schnide.

Much maligned for his propensity for turning the ball over, Romo protected the football well, didn't hold onto the ball too long in the pocket (with the exception of his sack on the first drive of the third quarter) and pulled out some magical footwork to keep plays alive (notably his touchdown pass to Patrick Crayton before halftime). Dallas won the overall turnover battle, with Felix Jones' fumble the only blemish against the Falcons three turnovers.

Miles Austin again provided the Cowboys with a big play threat.

With the home run ability Felix Jones provides missing the previous two games, Miles Austin stepped into the limelight against Kansas City. He proved his run after the catch skills were not a fluke by turning in six receptions for a total of 171 yards on the day. Austin, who coming into the season had only 18 total receptions, saw his yards per reception average bubble up to an astronomical 24. Austin's quick feet in and out of comeback routes and deep fly patterns make him a threat to break into the open field at all times.

Pressure on Falcons QB Matt Ryan kept the Falcons passing offense in check.

After posting one of the league's top pass rushes last season and boasting DeMarcus Ware as the NFL's sack leader, the Cowboys had only generated 10 sacks through the first five games of the season. The defense unloaded on Ryan yesterday, taking the ex-Boston College QB down four times in the pocket yesterday. Ryan had Cowboys' meat hooks in his face all day, rushing his tender feet out of the pocket to throw the ball away or forcing poor throws into coverage, which led to two interceptions and Ryan's lowest completion percentage of the young season.

Making blogs (including this one) better

A great article on a blog I read from time to time on Yahoo!.

Hopefully, this increasing "urban sprawl" of blogging will lead, as Puck Daddy indicates, to local bloggers landing jobs in mainstream media as large, conglomerate companies seek to localize content.

Which, in turn, means people like me might be able to obtain jobs for companies like, let's say, ESPN. Fingers are crossed...

Top Alaskan high school mascots

While reading on ASAA's website about the new high school that opened up in Juneau last year, I wanted to know what their mascot was. I found it to be the "Falcons," a very ordinary name. However, Alaska being Alaska, I knew there had to be some schools out there with some strange ones. Here's what some digging produced, in the form of a top three:

3) Chaputnguaq Shaman - Chefornak, AK - Like many rural communities are, I imagine, a spiritual name. Hopefully spells and charms must be removed along with all jewelry before stepping onto the court, gypsy twirls.

2) Aniak Halfbreeds - Aniak, AK - Half man, half...whale? Many small rural communities (Aniak has an enrollement of 40 students) have mascots that identify with local icons or creatures. While I am not sure of the actual presence of werewolves or vampires in Aniak, I have heard whispers of Twilight and Underworld movies being shot here in the near future.

1) Malemute Malemutes - Koyuk, AK - Utterly redundant. I am just distressed by this. You are telling me the best name you could come up with for the school was Malemute, and then to top that off, you wanted the mascot to mirror the school's moniker? Envision: "Starting at guard for the Malemutes," and "When I say Malemute you say Malemutes." This could cause poor grammar too. When will we differentiate between the school name and the mascot name?

Honorable mention: King Cove T-Jacks and Rookies, Kokhanok Warlords, Mountain Village Strivers, Yakov E. Netzvetov Axtam Taligisnikangis(es?ers?)

Pacing

I started off this post thinking about why I think baseball is mundane. The pacing of the sport is far too slow. I lose interest in the game, and while I am unfocused on what is happening, someone jacks one out of the yard or a foul ball is coming in hot to smoke me in the face. Not my thing.

Instead, I stumbled upon The Science of Sport blog. More specifically, this post centered around the human ability to pace one's self during the course of physical exertion. It reveals motivation's important contribution to pacing exercise intensity.

Fascinating stuff for something not considered while doing trail running. Now if I could only pace my eating habits...

Why are some people special?

Okay, so I'll add to the hysteria of this 9-year old child from Maine doing a ridiculous display of skill on the ice.

I'll admit, I have never seen anything like it. I've seen a lot of hockey in Alaska, and a lot of NHL on TV. But this is crazy. How long does this kid practice that to a) be that good at that wraparound shot and b) have the confidence to do it on the ice while being filmed? NHL players can't do that. How does he?

Watching this made me think of one thing: how do some kids have so much more natural ability than others?

I mean, everyone's different -- I get it. Some kids can pound out their times tables in less than a minute. Some kids were the fastest ones to sprint across the field during recess -- I get that, too. But why do some kids get that rare combination of work ethic and raw athletic talent that others don't?

Sometimes it's obvious. When you have a pedigree, like him, it's easy to see where the talent emerges. But when you're right next to a future Marino throwing the football around at Pop Warner practice, there's something that separates him from you. I just don't know what it is.

Someone's going to say 'While you were inside studying for the SAT's, Derrick Rose was outside ballin'. That's BS. No matter how much you love sports, you can't screw around on the field or court all day. Everyone has other interests.

Another finger pointer will say 'It has to do with the way they were brought up.' Okay, so your family is too poor to get Wi-Fi and buy books from Barnes & Noble. But what does every American family have? A television. And you can bet that little white kids in upstate New York are watching the same Disney channel as kids in the Tenderloin area of San Francisco.

Then, the genetics types will say that blacks and hispanics have more fast-twitch muscle fiber, giving them an inherant athletic advantage. Okay, so they start with a leg up on other kids. But what gets them from being able to jump a little higher than everyone else to the next level? Nobody's making anyone do plyos before high school tryouts. They just show up like everyone else and dominate. Somehow there becomes a deliniation between the best and the rest.

What gets me is how unfair it is. If these future stars aren't hitting the weight room more than you or out shooting hoops alone (a la Hoosiers) to improve more often than you are, they shouldn't get the spoils you can't. Escalades, MTV video honeys and a job playing pro ball while the rest of us are blighted from succeess and have to get real jobs.

Now that I have vented on my inferiority complex enough, we can move on.

The poor goalie doesn't know what hit him either. Granted, I don't feel that badly for him. The videographers, coaches and parents in the stands were surely as dumbfounded by this move as he was. Nonetheless, you're digitally immortalized for getting pwned by your teammate. Not only does this kid throw snowballs at you on the way home from practice and is going to be a dynomite Juniors player, but he just rocked you on SportsCenter last night. Sucks, bro.